Already got asked if we're dating
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
