I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My feet surprised me
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