Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
