Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize