road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
