I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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