1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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