I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
no, he came in my armpit
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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