whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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