where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
