I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
