i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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