is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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