Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Randomize
