I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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