Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize