So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
