When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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