"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
