I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
