Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
