I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
