Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Fuck appropriateness.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
