I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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