I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
