It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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