i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
