dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Vodka?
Forever.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
