Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
