so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
