can we get nightvision for the apartment?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
