Please, let me fuck your mom
one might say we're banned from that church
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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