is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
