I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
