come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize