So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
