My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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