Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
