dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
