i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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