Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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