I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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