So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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