God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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