I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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