Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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