What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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