someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
