does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize