your room smells of hookers.
And success
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
