not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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