Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
