i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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