Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Can I color on your dick again?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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