her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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