Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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