we have officially mastered the walk of shame
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
