"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
