can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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