Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
